He turned the pages, picking out every reference to B
M. “B. M. told me the story of his childhood. His mother went out charring. When I think of it, I can hardly bear to go on living in such luxury. Three guineas for one hat! He had lent her books. Karl Marx, The Coming Revolution. The initials B. M., B. M., B. M., recurred repeatedly. But why never the full name? There was an informality, an intimacy in the use of initials that was very unlike Angela. Had she called him B. M. to his face? He read on. M. came unexpectedly after dinner. Luckily, I was alone. He checked the date in his engagement book. It had been the night of the Mansion House dinner.
And B. M. and Angela had spent the evening alone! He tried to recall that evening. Was she waiting up for him when he came back? Had the room looked just as usual? Were there glasses on the table? Were the chairs drawn close together? He could remember nothing -nothing whatever, nothing except his own speech at the Mansion House dinner. It became more and more inexplicable to him-the whole situation; his wife receiving an unknown man alone. Perhaps the next volume would explain. Hastily he reached for the last of the diaries-the one she had left unfinished when she died. There, on the very first page, was that cursed fellow again. M. He became very agitated. He said it was time we understood each other.
I tried to make him listen. But he would not. He threatened that if I did not. She had written “Egypt. Egypt. Egypt,” over the whole page. He could not make out a single word; but there could be only one interpretation: the scoundrel had asked her to become his mistress. Alone in his room! The blood rushed to Gilbert Clandon’s face. He turned the pages rapidly. What had been her answer? Initials had ceased. It was simply “he” now. I told him I could not come to any decision. I implored him to leave me. But why hadn’t she told him? How could she have hesitated for an instant? Then there was this: “No answer to my letter.
Then: “I wrote him a letter
He turned page after page. All were blank. But there, on the very day before her death, was this entry: “Have I the courage to do it too?
Gilbert Clandon let the book slide to the floor. He could see her in front of him. She was standing on the kerb in Piccadilly. Her eyes stared; her fists were clenched. Here came the car.
He could hear the cheap clock ticking on her mantelpiece; then a long drawn sigh. Then at last she said:
He was her brother; her brother who had killed himself. “Is there,” he heard Sissy Miller asking, “anything that I can explain?”
He had received his legacy. She had told him the truth. She had stepped off the kerb to rejoin her lover. She had stepped off the kerb to escape from him.
Together and Apart
Mrs. Dalloway introduced them, saying you will like him. The conversation began some minutes before anything was said, for both Mr. Serle and Miss Arming looked at the sky and in both of their minds the sky went on pouring its meaning though very differently, until the presence of Mr. Serle by her side became so distinct to Miss Anning that she could not see the sky, simply, itself, any more, but the sky shored up by the tall body, dark https://loansolution.com/installment-loans-ne/ eyes, grey hair, clasped hands, the stern melancholy (but she had been told “falsely melancholy”) face of Roderick Serle, and, knowing how foolish it was, she yet felt impelled to say: