Self-Ish or Self-Care?
You Need You, Too
If you ever felt guilty for putting yourself first, this blog is for you. If you ever felt that it was wrong, to honor your needs if it meant disappointing others, this blog is MADE for you.
So, during this whole pandemic, we’ve been challenged, tested left and right. We’ve been triggered and felt fear on a whole other level. Moreover, during this time, our true colors were revealed. Our priorities were re-evaluated, and our energy re-allocated. Because more than ever, with everything going on, what we want is to feel good. And what we need, is to do what’s best for ourselves. To heal. To survive, so we can thrive.
Thus, during a time when we all need to fight for ourselves, we may likely make decisions that are the most beneficial to our* health, emotional well being, and financial situation. In other words, ones that honor our needs (this may also include a family of your own)
So, does this imply, we’re all at the core, “Self-ish” to a certain extent under given circumstances? Or is this considered “Self-Care”, if what we want is to take care of ourselves now that we finally have the chance (given our circumstances) and need to more than ever.
But, How do we balance between our own needs and the needs of others, during a pandemic?
While this madness was going on, I couldn’t help but experience inner conflict. I felt like I had worked super hard to get to where I am. Whether it be in terms of my mental, emotional or physical health (yes this may fluctuate). Or towards creating a future for myself. I felt like I had finally come to a place, where I truly know who I am and my needs . In regards to what I’m able to do for others while also taking care of myself. Ultimately, I felt like I could no longer NOT be “Self-ish”, so to speak.
However, during this unfortunate pandemic, I knew others also needed my help. Thus, I wanted to be there in the ways that I could. To be open to finding a middle ground, where both parties could feel good about. The thing is, often in these moments, we’re faced with two options. Either to hold back your truth and put others’ needs before yours, in order to please them. Or express your truth, and stand by your needs (also), at the risk of creating conflict with others involved. And in turn, disappointing them, if they are not in agreement.
Because, although this pandemic was something none of us expected, and although sometimes we got to roll with the punches, if I had chosen the first option, I would’ve likely felt resentful in the end. I wouldn’t have “Self-Cared”. As it would’ve meant putting my own health at risk while neglecting my emotional well being, and financial needs during an undetermined period of time.
>> And was I willing to do that, after all that I’ve done to get here? <<
The thing is, when we don’t listen to our body. When we don’t listen to our needs (emotionally as well) in turn, this could manifest into the physical. Thus, could make you even more vulnerable to what’s out there during this time, and that’s the last thing we need.
But, even if you choose to honor your needs in the end, you may still felt guilty about it in moments, and that’s only human. Perhaps, this guilt comes from the feeling of “obligation”, of being “expected” of? That we may put on ourselves, or let others? So how do we then shift into feeling at peace with the decisions we make that often feel conflicting?
Perhaps, in these moments, we could choose to trust our intuition. Trust that, at the end of the day, we come from a place of good intention. That we mean well, and do what we can. Thus, although in these moments, we may not have been able to please everyone (can we ever?), what’s important is that we were able to we find the courage to honor our needs and speak our* truth (which in turn, leads to growth in self love <3).
With that said, if we come from a place of love for ourselves, then in the long run, we can then give to others more, from a place of love as well. Thus, this may mean, at times, setting boundaries. Asking for middle ground. Or Saying No. At the risk of not being able to please others. Because if you, yourself do not* value your worth, or respect your needs, why would anyone else?
With that said, although it may be extremely difficult at times to put yourself first, to “Self-Care” when you truly want to help. And even more so when you deeply care about the other parties involved. Remember this: You shouldn’t have to feel guilty for being true to who you are, for honoring how you feel, and your needs.
*We’re all doing our best during this difficult period of uncertainty and of survival.*
Lastly, during these times, the truth is: You need You, too.
I hope you are all healthy, safe, and “Self-cared”.
–> How are you taking care of yourself during these times? <–