Ever feel like you’re being pulled in one direction but can’t seem to break through that threshold? The journey into the unknown is scary af. And we’ve all been there. Where we’ve had to make the decision, whether to leap forward or play it safe.
I’ve come to realize that the unknown means growth. And the more you grow, the more you feel “lost”. The more you feel like you’re starting over again. As if you’re back to square one. To have to rebuild your foundation, cultivate new relationships, and create your “new” world, or is it the world you’ve always wanted? A world where you’re finally able to step into your truth, be in alignment with relationships, situations, and opportunities that are truly for you. It’s fucking bittersweet.
I feel the more I find myself the more I feel lost and by this, I mean from what I once knew. From who I never was. Ever since my heart surgery 9 years ago up until to now, I had to shed multiple layers to get here. To get closer to who I am.
The thing is, how ever “far” you’ve come along your journey to self-discovery and self-love it’s still painful every time you shed your false self to grow, to heal. And let’s be real, the journey to healing yourself, can be lonely as fuck. So why do it right? ‘Cause even when you feel somewhat healed or that you’ve overcome adversity, the universe will find ways to throw more challenging shit your way.
And, Fvck. Right now, I feel I’m about to enter a new phase, once again. The new unknown. It feels foreign, and I’m scared. And there are moments where I wonder if I made the wrong decisions in leaving situations, people and “opportunities” behind. The thing is. Sometimes I wish didn’t know more. Played it safe. Chose the familiar. The comfortable. Sometimes I question why I have these big dreams & visions, this deep need to heal, to become more of who I am? And, tell myself perhaps it would be simpler if I just suppressed what I truly feel, or want like I did years ago?
The thing is, the more you “lose” or in other words find yourself, the more you get a closer glimpse to the life you yearn to live. But then there’s that doubt, that negative voice that creeps in, and says “what if this isn’t the “right” path,”what if this doesn’t work out”, and “what if I’m not cut out for this”?!
So I’ve been wanting to do Vlogs for a while now, write a book, and blog but I repressed these desires because I was afraid to expose my deepest fears, secrets, and me at the rawest. ‘Cause I know once I do, my world would inevitably change. I was questioning like, “fuck are people going to relate? Are people going to understand my message? Will they judge me for who I am and what I’ve lived?”
And then you start doubting yourself, but then you’re reminded that you’ve been led here for a reason. That the synchronicity and signs came your way, from living certain experiences, to resources to people who support and encourage you to push forward, because it’s meant for you.
I wanted to trust that perhaps in sharing my realizations, and perspective it can inspire others to be who they are and feel less alone on their journey to self-love and self-discovery.
So here’s the thing. Even when you have this knowing, you can either decide to leap forward or say fuck it and just not do it. If you choose not to, the thing is, you may regret it later on. You may look back years later wishing you had taken the leap, into the unknown.
And I knew this was not what the new, the real me, wanted.
To feel like you got close and didn’t leap forward due to fear, of the unknown, sucks big time.
Thus, whether this journey into the unknown you feel called towards is one that pertains to new love, new career, and/or new adventures, trust that you are ready. That you can breakthrough that threshold.
The truth is, the journey into the unknown is terrifying to say the least. But even if you may be afraid, you can still choose to leap forward, even if this means in “baby” steps.
With that said, what I learned is to keep moving forward, to that “unknown” that’s calling you. Whether it be in love, in pursuing your dreams, or whatever it may be. Yes, it may be uncomfortable as fuck. But change is essential for self-growth, for you to be more of who you are, and attract the life you truly want. And hey, it’s okay to feel lost along the way. It’s okay to feel like you don’t know where the fuck you’re going at times.
However, as scary as it may be, whenever you choose to leap into the “unknown” that’s calling you, regardless of the outcome, it will be rewarding in self-growth. Ultimately it brings you closer to where you are meant to go and who you are meant to be.
So at the end of the day, will you play it safe or BE BRAVE AND CHOOSE TO LEAP INTO THE UNKNOWN?